Aging With Grace … and God

It’s undisputed medical fact that humans are living longer these days. Navigating what spiritual director Patricia Herbst refers to as a “third cycle of life,” is of pressing concern for our country’s ever-aging population. Some journey into maturity with greater ease than others, physical diminishment and spiritual unrest striking no two seniors in exactly the same way.

“Aging carries its many blessings, as well as challenges,” says Sister Marguerite Stewart. “A real challenge for me has been accepting and working with loss of independence.”

Now in her 90s and beleaguered by balance issues, Sister has stopped driving. She’s learned to lean on others to take her shopping and help her carry things. And she’s learning to accept her own limitations.

“A real balance comes when I can humbly and gratefully accept help but, at the same time, continue to try to do what I can do,” Sister says. “Keeping a joyful and positive attitude in the face of this loss is a growing challenge.”

Regardless of their varied physical limitations, there is a common aging aide to which our Sisters subscribe — their spirituality. Sister Norberta Kralosky, who died in 2022, found that having an open, honest conversation with the Lord helped her to maintain inner peace into her 90s.

“As I prepare to sleep at night, I try to think of the day I just finished and talk to the Lord about it,” she said. “I say to God, ‘What did I do for you today?’ Then after some thought, “What did I do to you today?’”

Clearly, canes and hearing aids are far from the only tools available to society’s sagest citizens. As feeding the spirit is just as important as caring for the body, prayer can be an equally important part of the toolkit.

“Prayer eliminates the cloud of not knowing or, better yet, the cloud of thinking that I know it all,” says Sister Barbara Ann Webster, now 89, as she takes a “let go and let live” approach to aging. “Letting go of concerns about everything except what is in front of me and trusting in God’s plan, I accept each day, each hour, each moment.”

Like Sister Marguerite and so many others, Sister Irene Novak has grappled with physical limitations and waning independence. Prayer, she says, must be tempered with just the right amount of acceptance. “The most challenging part of aging is to accept what is with gratitude, instead of using prayer as a way of asking God to do things differently.”

Each day, Sister Norberta told us, is another chance to — even now — learn and grow. “I think about the way I responded to the Lord today,” she advised. “Perhaps I have done okay or, hopefully, I do better next time. The procedure is very effective. The Lord is very kind and forgiving and wants to help us.”

It’s important to count the blessings of maturity, as well, says Sister Irene. “There is no pressure to accomplish various responsibilities. Spiritually, I have more time to prepare for the afterlife.”

Sister Marguerite concurs. “Growing in age has brought depth to my life,” she says. “My prayer, reflection time and good reading have deepened. My eyes also have opened more to the beauty all around me — in people and creation. These all lead to great gratitude for life and all God's gifts.”

Perhaps the key is in shifting our focus from what we cannot do any longer to what we can do.

“I am capable of a lot of things, but mostly I am capable of making others happy, no matter what my physical or mental ability,” says Sister Barbara Ann. “My advice to my all my fellow travelers in life is go on. Do what you can for the sake of others. Just keep going.”

God is calling us to the challenges before us, and it is up to us as to how we respond. “I challenge myself each day to truly be alive,” says Sister Marguerite. “To get up each morning, grateful for a new day and choose to live that day, asking God to walk beside me.”